


Waiting for the Sunrise

by flouridation



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, See what I did there, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Will nico find love again, and that your creativity inspired me then and today, but if you ever come across this, color symbolism, from a tumblr prompt from like 5 years ago, i know you're deactivated now, i want you to know that i am grateful, thank you solangeloismymoonlight, very heavy-handed color symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23470618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flouridation/pseuds/flouridation
Summary: Written many years ago but never finished, inspired by a post made by now-deactivated tumblr user @solangeloismymoonlight. It’s a soulmate AU, the gist of it is that your skin turns bright colors everywhere your soulmate touches you and stays that way for a few hours. If your soulmate dies before you meet them, the first place they would have touched you turns gray and stays that way, like a scar. If your soulmate dies after you meet them, the last place they touched you will turn gray forever. My first completed multi-chapter work.Nico di Angelo was barely a teenager when he found his soulmate connection in a boy named Percy Jackson. Life was colorful. Then Percy died after falling into Tartarus, leaving Nico to live the long rest of his life alone. He must learn to live with his grief, and to survive somehow despite his loneliness. He can’t help but wonder, though: *Will* the world always be gray?
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Will Solace
Comments: 13
Kudos: 6





	1. Will

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in middle school and just unearthed it today. kinda vibing with it? have a read and lmk your feelings in the comments

He woke up alone. The sun hadn't yet risen, and as he looked out the cabin window he was overcome with familiar sensations. 

Darkness. 

Loneliness. 

Emptiness. 

Gray. 

The only colorscape left for Nico di Angelo. 

*

He wasn't sure how long he'd been this way. Well, that wasn't quite true. He knew the day he became this way. The exact moment. When his sister died. That's when it all began. The endless days, the nights in the Underworld. The aching loneliness. He remembered when it started, but a lot of the days during that time in his life seemed to blend together. 

However, he never forgot the exact moment that it ended. 

An empty flicker of wistfulness passed across Nico's face as he recalled the moment that everything changed. 

The moment he found his soulmate. 

That day, so long ago now, when he'd taken Percy to bathe in the River Styx. The moment he pulled him out and held him in his arms, and suddenly they came alive with colors. 

Everything was gray before then. But suddenly, everything was blue. And green. And orange. And purple. And every single color of the rainbow, dazzlingly bright. 

Nico forced himself to push aside all thoughts of Percy. They were too painful. Just the memory of his brilliant green eyes would make him break down if he let himself dwell on it. He had to focus on his life now. Had to think of anything else, anything other than Percy. 

Nico finished getting ready for the day, finally slipping on his gloves as he stepped outside. The sun still hadn’t poked quite over the horizon. That was alright. He had to work soon. 

* 

Will Solace was already outside when he arrived. His golden hair glinted in the cold gray light of dawn and he greeted Nico with a tired smile. "Good morning." Nico nodded in acknowledgement and held open the door to the infirmary for him. It was easier if he just pretended nothing was wrong, kept his head down, and said as little as possible to the other healers. Especially Will Solace. 

"Did you...sleep well?" Will asked after a slightly awkward pause as they headed into the communal locker room area. 

Nico hesitated, then nodded blankly. Another pause. "How... How'd you sleep?" He asked as they changed into the medical scrubs all the healers had to wear in the infirmary. 

"Fine, thanks." Will smiled, not seeming to know quite what to say. Nico nodded again, then cleared his throat and finished changing into his scrubs before walking over to the whiteboard to check what patients they had today. Most of the names were ones he expected, people who'd been stuck in the infirmary for days or weeks since the battle with Gaea, but one caught him by surprise. 

"Annabeth Chase? What's she doing here?" Nico turned to Will for answers. 

He peered at the board, confused. "Annabeth? Who signed her in?" He pushed open the door to the patient section of the infirmary and hurried on through rows of beds against the walls, close behind. Then Nico caught sight of honey-blonde hair in a bed to his right and stopped short. Will kept going. 

"Solace!" He hissed. "She's right here." He turned to Annabeth as Will hurried back to them. "Annabeth! What are you..." he trailed off and just stared at her for a moment. She looked different from the last time he'd seen her, though not by much. Her hair was longer; he wasn't sure how. And it was braided. He'd never seen it that way before. She looked up from the magazine she'd been flicking through—it had pretty buildings on the cover, Nico noticed; he had an eye for details and only details lately—and met his eye. 

Nico hadn't seen Annabeth properly in... days. Weeks? Not since the battle with Gaea. And even before that, they hadn't talked much since... 

She stared straight back, gray eyes glimmering. She smiled faintly and greeted them. "Hello, Nico. Will, hi." She blinked and her gaze fell to his hands. Annabeth didn't comment on his gloves, but guiltily averted her eyes to her own. They were streaked with pink and pastel green. Now that he looked at her more closely, he saw other marks sprinkled and splattered artfully against her skin. They were so obvious, the whole world could see them. And the whole world knew what they meant. 

"Annabeth!" Will exclaimed, reaching for her chart at the foot of the bed. "Good to see you, well not in the infirmary, obviously, but, you know, in general, um..." He scanned it, then looked up in apparent alarm, before quickly smiling at Annabeth nervously and sidling close to Nico. 

Nico knew that smile. It was his I-Don’t-Know-What-To-Do, Let-Me-Defer-To-My-Supervisor smile. Nico inched closer and craned his neck to see her chart, but the clipboard was blank. "Why isn't there anything on the chart?" He said out the side of his mouth. 

"I don't know.” Will was speaking through his teeth. "I guess no one's filled it out yet. I don't know what to do if I don't have the chart.” 

"Figure it out.” 

"I'm trying!" 

"Maybe actually look at the patient, and you'll see the problem." 

"Shut up already." 

"Um, I'm here because of my ankle." Annabeth interjected politely, then gave a cough that sounded uncannily like the word "Idiots," and gestured at her leg, wrapped in a cast and bandaged. 

"Ah, yes, of course. It's probably time to get that cast off, right?" Will said, thrusting the blank chart into Nico's hands. He huffed irritably and set it down at the foot of the bed as Will started examining Annabeth's ankle and prepared to remove the cast. 

"It seems like there aren't many people here anymore." Annabeth said, looking around at the rows of empty beds with only the occasional sleeping patient or visitor. 

"Yeah, most of the people who were here right after the battle have either been healed or... Didn't make it." He cleared his throat and Nico looked away. Dealing with the dead and dying was most of Nico's responsibility. He tried to help with the injured, but a lot of people were still scared whenever he got close. He was mostly in charge of burial rites. There had been a lot of burials. 

"So sorry to hear about Percy." Will was whispering to Annabeth. "I knew you were close." At the mention of Percy's name, Nico looked up and glanced at Annabeth again. She wasn't meeting his eyes. 

"He was my best friend. He died saving me." She took a shaky breath. 

"I hadn't heard that." Will looked horrified. "I'm so sorry, Annabeth." He put a hand gently on her shoulder. 

"Thanks. But..." She looked helplessly at Nico, who shot her a warning glare. "Thanks." 

Will finished taking off her cast. "How's Piper, by the way? I haven't seen her in here, fortunately, but I spend so much time in here I don't know much of what's happening outside." 

"She's fine. Great, actually." Annabeth smiled, but only for a second. "Can't say the same for Leo." 

"Wait, I thought Leo..." 

"He didn't." Nico spared Will the discomfort of finishing his thought. "He survived." Annabeth nodded. 

"But his soulmate died." 

"Who was his soulmate?" Nico asked in surprise. "Calypso is still alive..." 

Annabeth shrugged. "We don't know. Nobody knows. But now there's this... Streak. Down the side of his face. It was gray and it wouldn't come off. We know what happened." She sighed. "He was pretty upset. " 

"I can imagine." Will sighed.  _ Can you, though?  _ Nico couldn't help thinking, looking down at his own gloved hands.

*

"Well, you should be about ready to go now," said Will once he'd finished removing Annabeth's cast and bandages. "I've just got to finish my rounds. C'mon, Nico." Will started walking off and Nico made an 'in a minute' hand gesture, then turned back to Annabeth. 

"Hi." He said shortly, not quite making eye contact. 

"Hi." Annabeth replied. 

"I was sorry to hear about Leo." 

"Me too." A pause. A glance at Will. "So, he really doesn't know?" 

"Who doesn’t know what?" Nico asked, feigning ignorance. 

"You know what I mean. Will Solace. He really doesn't know about you and Percy?" 

Nico winced, then shrugged. "I guess not." 

"You mean... He's never seen?" She looked down at his hands. 

"I guess not." Nico repeated. Annabeth nodded, not saying anything. Finally she put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't shrug it off, just stared at it, taking in the vibrant, familiar colors he hadn't seen on his own skin in what felt like a whole empty lifetime. 

Annabeth's hand was warm and gentle. It almost startled him. It had been a long time since he'd been touched that way. Consoled that way. "Take care, Nico." She gave him a comforting, almost motherly kiss on the cheek, then squeezed his arm once before she got up to leave. 

Will Solace was waiting for him, several yards ahead. Nico wasn't sure how much of their exchange he'd seen, but he gave no indication of knowing anything. He turned around again to say goodbye to Annabeth, but she was already gone. 

* 

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Not a frantic blur, like it had been right after the battle. The infirmary was almost empty now. The patients had gone, one by one. Most of them, fortunately, left because they were healed. Almost as many, however, didn't survive. 

The worst thing was the soulmates. 

Nico wasn't around for very long before the Titan War. But he noticed the colors. Sometimes. A few stood out more than the others. Charles Beckendorf and Selena Beauregard. Among others. Then, one by one, two by two, the colors disappeared. And kept disappearing. 

Leaving behind nothing but gray. 

*

Twelve hours later, his shift was officially over. As soon as he changed back into his regular dark clothes, he collapsed against a wall and closed his eyes. Just for a moment, he assured himself. He would just stand here for a moment, then he'd get up and go. In a minute... 

"Hey, you awake?" Will asked, jolting Nico out of his daze. 

"Oh, um, yeah. Is it dinnertime?" He asked, squinting at the clock. 

"We've almost missed it. C'mon, let's go." He held the door open for Nico and they walked together to the Pavilion. Most of the other campers had already finished eating and left. After they'd gotten their dinner, they paused awkwardly, not quite sure what to do. Normally they'd just go their separate ways without thinking about it; Will would go sit with the Apollo kids, and Nico would sit with Hazel or by himself if she wasn't there. But tonight, they both only had empty tables to go to. 

"Do you want to have dinner with me?" Will finally asked. "Since we're pretty much the only two people here." 

Nico instinctively recoiled. "No, it's okay. I'm used to eating alone..." 

"I'd like the company. Not that you have to," he added quickly, "I just wouldn't mind. If you wanted to." They both paused, not quite sure what to do next. 

"Okay." Nico said at last. "I'll have dinner with you." He followed Will to the Apollo table, but felt a little uncomfortable at first. Campers didn't usually sit anywhere other than their cabin's table, but he figured this was okay. After all, the camp schedule had all but disintegrated lately and it wouldn't be back to normal for a while. And anyway, they were practically the only people left in the dining pavilion by now. 

He sat down across from Will and jabbed at his serving of barbecue with a fork. Will looked at him in silence until he stopped. "What?" 

" Nothing." Will shook his head and started eating. "Just thinking. About Leo," He added. Nico raised an eyebrow. 

"What about him?" 

"His soulmate. I don't know. They died before he even met them..." He sighed, and Nico looked away. 

"I think it's better than having them die after you know them. After you fall in love and build a life with them and... And everything." His voice was monotonous, but at least it didn’t break. 

"Yeah." Will nodded, not noticing that Nico was desperately avoiding eye contact now. "It must be awful." 

"Yeah." 

They ate in silence for a while, Nico still trying to blink back tears. Finally Will spoke again. "I think someone should start a support group." 

Nico looked up, distracted. "What? What do you mean?" 

"A support group. For people who have lost their soulmates. Here at camp." 

Nico considered it. He thought about all the people he'd known who'd lost their soulmates.  _ Including me, _ he thought, though he didn’t think of himself as the type of person who needed support. "It's a good idea," he said after some deliberation, "But who would lead it?" 

Will paused in thought. "Actually, maybe we could." When Nico didn't reply, Will pressed on. "Think about it. I'm a healer and you're a child of Hades. We know a thing or two about death and mourning." 

_ Yes. We certainly do.  _ "You're right. It makes sense, and we could help a lot of people if we give them a special place to grieve. Let's do it." 

Will smiled, full of light. "Okay. Let's meet up again at lunch tomorrow and work out the details." 

"Sounds like a plan." 

Will gulped down the rest of his ice water and stood up. "Alright. Well, I should probably go to bed now." He yawned. "See you tomorrow." 

"See you." Nico nodded. "I should go to bed too." 

*

Only once he got safely back inside his cabin did he take off his gloves. He collapsed on his bed, staring at his exposed hands. Will had been right when he said that Nico knew about death, but he had no idea how right he'd been. Nico knew about soulmates. He knew about loss. He knew about having someone you love disappear forever. 

Because, underneath his gloves, his own fingers were scarred with gray. 


	2. Nico

Nico found himself drifting off. When he opened his eyes again, what felt like mere moments later, the clock on his nightstand told him it was almost time for him to wake up anyway. He sighed and stood up, trying to collect himself. Looking down he realized he'd slept in his clothes from the previous day. Ugh.

He decided to shower. A little warm water would be nice. Water would never be quite the same to him, he thought. It would never feel quite right. But that was nonsense. He knew it was, but he still couldn't help but feel that familiar snatch of grief whenever he was around water. Which was fairly often, obviously. But he usually avoided larger bodies of water when he could. Especially the ocean.

Nico actually hadn't been to the ocean since the battle with Gaea. It was surprisingly easy to avoid, even though he lived within a few hundred yards of it and could hear it from his window on a still night. Not last night, though. By the time he got back to his cabin it was thundering outside of camp. It was still drizzling now. The sky was darkly overcast. He couldn't see the ocean or the sun. It was all masked by the thick wall of gray.

It was fine, though. He was fine.

As soon as he finished showering, Nico got dressed and put on his gloves. He hated looking at the gray marks on his fingers, a constant, cold reminder that he would never smile again. Never laugh again. Never see colors quite the same way. Everything was tinged with a new color now.

So he wore gloves.

Sometimes Nico caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the mirror. He didn't recognize his face sometimes. It was barely his anymore. Now he saw a strange, sickly, solemn face, the face of someone too tired to go on. But life went on regardless, and so must he. Just because his life was over didn't mean he could stop living. He had to keep going. And he did.

*

Will greeted him, same as always, much more cheerily than Nico deserved. Nico nodded blankly, then forced himself to pay attention. Focus. Will was telling him something. It sounded important. He had to pay attention.

"—So, that about covers it. Think we can handle it?"

Nico looked at him blankly. Then he sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I have no idea what you just said." He opened his eyes again, suddenly wondering how long it had been since he'd seen the sun.

Will sighed. "It's alright, it's early. Ish. Um, I was just talking about our support group idea. I think we might be able to put together a meeting today morning after breakfast. Things are calming down at the infirmary and I just thought I could go and spread the word around today, maybe get Chiron to make an announcement. We can work out the details when we get there, right?"

Nico nodded. "Sure. That sounds good." A thought occurred to him. “Do you still want to have lunch together?”

Will nodded. “Yes. I mean,” He shrugged. “If you want to.”

Nico matched his tone. “I wouldn’t mind.”

They stood in silence for a moment, then Will said, “Well, I’m off to see Chiron.” And they went off their separate ways.

*

Nico didn't mean to make these conversations awkward. He was trying his best. At least, he thought he was. But it took a lot of energy just to hold himself together these days. Especially in front of Will Solace.

It was hard. He'd never had time to grieve, and he'd never had a chance to heal. Work was his comfort and his shield. His job boiled down largely to clerical duties now, in addition to basic nursing care. He was in charge of writing to the families of the wounded. And the dead. But they weren’t his. He didn’t have to feel them. As long as he kept his mind and body busy, he wouldn't think about it. And that was what was best for him. He couldn't bring himself to think about it. Not yet.

He ate alone and he ate bland food that wouldn’t remind him of anything. Maybe, when he didn’t feel this way anymore, bland food would remind him of this time and he would avoid it. That thought implied to him that one day he wouldn’t feel this way. It was hard to believe.

He couldn’t help himself. It was going to be a hard day. He could indulge in a teeny bit of sadness for a moment. Cherry coke, he thought to his cup, and it filled with Percy’s favorite drink. One step further he could take it. Blue cherry coke. He sipped and it was sweet with memories. Then it was empty.

He’d long since given up sending offerings for his father. They weren’t on the best of terms right now. He kept all of his food, even if he had no appetite at all. He wasn’t much bothered by his hunger, if he could feel it at all. He abandoned the plate he’d barely touched and stood up, doing a quick scan for Will.

“Did you just have soda for breakfast?” Nico jumped and turned on his heel to find Will right at the head of his table.

“What’s it to you?” He didn’t mean to sound hostile, but it was that or awkward.

“You’re a medic, buddy. You know better than that.”

“You’re the medic. I’m a coroner. I don’t know anything.” He reached for his plate to scrape it into the trash, but Will took his arm and stopped him.

“Eat. Two bites. Then we can go.” Nico looked at him, incredulous. Will didn’t back down. He kept looking expectantly from Nico to the plate. Slowly, feeling like he was doing homework, Nico took the spoon and scooped a few soggy corn flakes into his mouth. His chewing felt cacophonous. “One more.” Nico took another bite, practically swallowing the mush whole just so Will would stop looking at him like that.

“Done.” He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, defiant. “Did you talk to Chiron?”

Will frowned. “Didn’t you hear him make the announcement?”

Nico was blank. “When did that happen?”

“Like, five minutes ago. During breakfast. There’s people on their way over to the house now. Nico, are you okay? Can you do this today?” He was the picture of concern. Nico’s hands curled into fists inside his gloves.

“I’m fine. I just didn’t hear, okay? I’m fine to help you lead the group. I’ve had breakfast now, you saw me.” Watching me like a hawk, apparently. “I’m ready for the day.”

“Okay.” He was dubious. Clearly. But he didn’t press the issue. “Come on. Let’s get up to the house.”

*

A handful of people were waiting for them when they got there. Chiron stopped them at the door. “I’m proud of you boys. We should have done this after the Titan war. We should have been doing it for millenia. Good luck in there.”

“Thank you,” said Will. “I hope we can help.”

“Thanks,” Nico agreed. “It was Will’s idea.”

“But Nico’s the death expert.” They all winced. “Sorry. That was rude. I just meant, I couldn’t do it without you.”

“Thanks. I’m glad I can be useful, at least.” There was a slightly awkward pause during which Chiron looked between them with something like suspicion. Will cleared his throat.

“Well, we’d better get started.”

*

This. Is. So. Depressing. Nico kept looking to and from the clock and fidgeting with his hands, twisting the gloves. It had only been twenty minutes. Group was an hour long. And Leo Valdez was talking now, saying something about how he would never know who his soulmate was and never get to experience that love. It almost made Nico angry. At least you’ll never lose it. His eyes widened at his own thought and he shook himself to get rid of it. That was his grief. This group wasn’t for him.

Will was nodding intently, apparently hanging on Leo’s every word. He’d been doing that for a good five minutes. He had started group with a prayer to Apollo, for him to grant them healing. Then he’d looked expectantly at Nico. He didn’t offer a companion prayer for Hades. Instead he’d said a few mumbled words about the difficulty of dealing with death, even for someone who was deeply familiar with the process. He’d said he understood what they were going through. Most of them didn’t know how true that was.

Leo did. He’d been right there when it happened. He didn’t meet Nico’s eye the entire duration of the group, Nico couldn’t help but notice. His eyes were drawn to the scar on his cheek. Looking at it made his fingers tingle and his chest hurt. He snapped his gaze away. He’d already met his sadness quota for the day.

*

And then, somehow, group was over. Will was thanking everybody for coming and asking them to please come again tomorrow, which made Nico inwardly groan. They had to do this again tomorrow. He missed work. He wished he hadn’t agreed to this stupid group; he didn’t even like going to work when he didn’t have to deal with people and their feelings. Lately all he’d wanted to do was sleep. So he went back to his cabin and laid flat on his back on the floor for a few hours until it was time for his lunch date with Will. No, not date. Oh, whatever. I know what I meant. He sighed and heaved himself up off the cold marble floor, then trudged all the way to the dining pavilion with a snatch of Leo’s soliloquy in his head. He’d said, It’s like I’ve been branded. Nobody will ever look at me the same. Nico felt it true, in his heart and his hands. That was why he wore gloves. He felt a twinge of sympathy for Leo. At least the whole world didn’t know. At least it wasn’t written on his face.

He got to the pavilion and Will was already waiting for him at the Hades table. He was probably the only person in the entire camp (except maybe Hazel, when she was here) who didn’t veer away from it like even its aura was deadly. In fact, Will was one of the few people in camp who didn’t veer away from him. “Hi,” he said with a smile as Nico sat down beside him. He slid a tray over. It was heaped with brisket.

“Thanks.” He accepted it, self-conscious, and stabbed a piece with his fork.

“No problem.” Will ate, apparently ravenous after their busy and exhausting day of listening to mourning demigods being sad. After a minute or two he scowled. “You’re supposed to eat at lunchtime, di Angelo.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t have much of an appetite today.”

Will sighed. He looked like he was about to say something more, then dropped it. “That was a pretty good turnout at Grief Group today, huh? Not bad for a first meeting.”

“Kind of sad that many people had a reason to come.”

Will shook his head. “It’s not sad.” He backtracked. “I mean, obviously losing your soulmate is sad. Losing anyone is sad. The fact that so many of us have felt that loss is very sad. But you know what’s not sad?”

Nico waited.

“That they were brave enough to ask for help getting through it.” His eyes were warm, fierce. He really believed what he was saying. “Every single person who showed up to that group is strong, and brave, and has so much left to live for. And we’re going to help them realize that. You and me.” He smiled again, then took a massive bite of his own heaping forkful of brisket.

Nico looked at him, feeling something stirring in his stomach. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe he was hungry after all.


	3. Ever

Days went by and the sun still didn’t show. Nico worked and slept and listened to the other campers talk about their losses. He ate and drank even when he couldn’t taste anything. His hands were cold even under his gloves. Will followed him nearly everywhere. Nico had gotten used to the company. So used to it, in fact, that he felt a little sadder when he was alone. 

“I feel better,” Leo was saying today, sitting up a little straighter, looking a little more put-together. 

“That’s good, Leo. Tell us more.” Will folded his hands over his crossed legs, like a therapist in a TV show. Nico had thought privately that Will’s healing demeanor was not just calming, but cute. He didn’t know what his brain meant by that, but the thought was there all the same every day during Grief Group. 

Leo fidgeted. “I just realized… I’m more than what I’ve lost. There’s more love out there for me. Calypso…” He shrugged, a tiny smile escaping him. “There’s just more. I still get to be happy. I didn’t use it all up.” 

“You didn’t,” Will agreed. Nico looked on, suddenly moved. He felt heartwarmed. Leo was genuinely healing. And it was all due to Will. 

“There’s more. I want all of it.” 

“It’s yours,” Nico said, talking for the first time in awhile. Everyone looked at him. “You deserve it.” He looked around. “All of you do.” People were shifting in their seats. He felt the urge to say more. To speak up. 

“Losing a soulmate is the end of the world. It is. It’s the end of the world you’d built together, or could have built together. All your hopes and dreams.” He paused, making sure he was completely collected before the rest of whatever this was came tumbling out. “And it hurts. So much you go numb. But there are people…” His eyes flicked involuntarily to Will. He jerked them away, feeling his face flush. “...Who can make you feel again. Not the same feelings. But life can be meaningful. In a new way.” He trailed off, looking around. People were silent, pondering his words. Or zoning out because they made no sense. Either way, he felt better for saying them. 

*

He wasn’t surprised when Will held him back after Grief Group, gently taking his arm and asking him to wait just a minute. He wasn’t surprised that his words would have consequences, such as other people being concerned about him. He was surprised, however, when he didn’t mind. 

“Hey,” Will said after everyone had left. “I’m glad you spoke up today. I think a lot of people felt what you were saying. You gave them a voice.” 

Nico took a deep breath. “It was my voice, too.” He was ready for this. He was ready to take down the shield. 

“Your voice?” Will wasn’t getting it yet. 

Slowly, gently, but resolutely, Nico pulled off his left glove. Then his right. The left hand was olive. The right hand was gray. Will saw it. 

“Your soulmate died.” He breathed out. “I had no idea.” 

“I know.” Nico flexed his fingers and turned his hand so Will could see better. 

“Who else knows?” 

“Annabeth.” He knew where this conversation was going, and he was ready to guide it there. “She was his best friend.” 

Will looked suddenly devastated as he arrived at the realization. “Your soulmate was Percy Jackson.” 

Nico nodded. Will reached for his hand and he pulled it away. He wasn’t quite ready for a healing touch. But he had made himself known. That was more than he ever thought he would be able to do again. Will dropped his arms respectfully, taking a step back. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Those were the words Nico had said every day since the Battle with Gaea. 

“Thank you.” Silence. He wasn’t expecting anything more from the conversation. But then: 

“Do you know why I decided to make this group?” 

He bit. “Why?” 

Will took off his shirt. He was tanned and muscular, like a lifeguard. Nico was confused. Then his eyes were drawn to the hand-shaped streak on his left shoulder. Gray. 

“You lost your soulmate too.” Suddenly Will made more sense. The things he’d said in Grief Group that came out so comforting were things he’d needed to hear himself. Nico was almost disappointed in himself for not putting it together sooner. After all, he was Camp Half-Blood’s resident expert on the aftereffects of death. 

“I never met them.” Will sighed. “They died when I was three.” 

“I’m sorry.” Nico stepped closer. Then, without really meaning to, he raised his right hand and touched it to Will’s shoulder. Gray met gray on tender skin. Two people with zero living soulmates. Will looked at him intently. It was like they were both holding their breath. Then Nico snapped back into reality and whipped his hand away. “I have to go.” His voice was thick. 

“Nico,” Will said, putting his shirt back on. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“I have to go,” he repeated, shrugging on his jacket and breathing shallowly. “I’ll see you later, but right now I—I have to go.” And, even though he tried his hardest not to, Nico ran. He didn’t stop until he made it back home to the Hades cabin. When he got there he slammed and bolted the door, then collapsed against the doorframe in tears. He hadn’t felt this way before. It was all new and terrifying and abominable. 

The worst part was that he had wanted more. 

Nico sat there for a long time, letting the sobs shake him and the tears leave salt tracks across his skin. His gray hand was tingling. But, more than that, his heart quickened. He wondered if he would ever see the sun. 


	4. Find

It was 5:00 AM. Nico was still awake. He hadn’t left the cabin all day. He’d stopped crying now, but he still felt raw. Not numb anymore, though. That was something. 

His thoughts had moved on from Percy. They were tracing over his conversation with Will from yesterday, running through every word, every gesture, again and again and again. He felt a sharp aching in his chest at how he’d reacted, and wished he’d done everything differently. What he would have done instead, he had no idea. But he would have done it differently. 

Maybe he still could. Maybe he could fix it somehow. But how? 

Then there was a knock at the door. Nico bolted upright. _Who is that?_ He tiptoed over to the cabin door and opened it, just a crack. _Think of the devil._ It was Will. His stomach lurched and his breath caught in his throat, but he couldn’t run and hide now. He’d already opened the door. 

“Hi,” Nico said, his palms suddenly sweating. “Is everything okay?” 

“No.” Will’s hair was a mess and his eyes were dark. “Everything is not okay.” 

“What’s wrong?” He stepped outside to join him. 

“I’m sorry for how I acted today. I don’t know what came over me. I made you uncomfortable.” 

“You did.” Nico gulped. “But that wasn’t your fault. And of course I forgive you.” He bit his lip. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to run away like that.” He sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and I didn’t do anything right.” 

“You’re grieving. It’s okay.” 

“I freaked out.” 

“It’s okay.” Will was adamant. 

“Thanks.” He felt some of his stress melting away. He felt himself softening. Will softened him. “Is that why you came?” 

“Kind of.” He shifted his weight awkwardly. “There’s more though.” Something about his expression made Nico freeze. Will softened him, but he also petrified him sometimes. The way he looked at him was petrifying, and he knew exactly why. He just hadn’t been able to admit it to himself until today. 

“What is it?” His voice shook. He didn't have to ask. He already knew. 

“I have feelings for you, Nico,” Will Solace said helplessly. “Loving feelings. Strong ones. I never thought I’d get to have feelings like these.” 

Nico swallowed a lump in his throat. “I know.” There was a long pause. “I have feelings for you too. I don’t know if they’re love or not. They don’t feel like I did with…” He trailed off. They both knew what he meant. “But you’re not Percy.” 

“And you’re not my soulmate,” Will agreed. “It’s not that kind of love.” 

“It’s not.” They were on the same page. Writing with the same pen in different colors. Nico pursed his lips, trying to come up with the right words. “I’ve already had my one great love. I don’t want to be greedy.” 

“I don’t want to replace Percy.” Will took his hand, the left one, the one that didn’t have the last traces of the beautiful boy they were talking about on it. He took his hand, and he let him. “He’s irreplaceable. I know that.” His hand was warm and strong and still somehow not at all Percyish. Nico felt something stirring inside him, subtle but strong. He wanted Will to keep holding his hand. He wanted more. He was ready to accept more. 

“He is.” Nico bit his lip, trying not to cry. He didn’t know if it was because he missed Percy, or because he was so beguiled by Will, or because this was all so utterly unprecedented for the little boy who still felt lost without his sister. Heck, it might even be because he still felt lost without his sister. Bianca would never get to meet Will, he realized with a pang. And then he was caught in a riptide, because he realized he _wanted_ to introduce Will to his sister. He blinked. “Will.” 

“Nico.” The other boy’s eyes were pleading, hopeful, and blue. He’d never been looked at that way before. 

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.” 

“How do you feel?” 

“Like…” He swallowed, searching for words. He’d come a long way in a short time. Will had a healing touch about him. It must have been inherited. “Like maybe what Leo said in Grief Group was right on the money. Like maybe there’s more love out there. And it’s okay to want it.” Pause. “And I’d even go one step farther. I’d say, maybe, it would be wrong to waste it.” He stepped a little closer to Will. “What do you think?” 

“I think…” Will’s voice was low. His head was tilted down. His jaw was working the words, betraying his thoughts. “I think…” Nico waited, suddenly breathless. His lips were parted but he wasn’t about to speak. He wanted to hear what Will had to say. 

But he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. Because he was too busy kissing him.


	5. Solace

It was a long while before they broke apart, and Nico realized with a shaky breath that he felt warmth in his chest and cheeks for the first time in months. Like he was defrosting. Like he could feel again. When he opened his eyes and looked at Will he realized that he was also hot about the face. Nico had to say something. He had to convey what this meant to him. Finally he said, “I agree.” And they both smiled. The first time Nico had smiled since Percy died. “Thank you,” he said, touching the other boy’s cheek. “Just… Thank you.” 

Will embraced him. After he let go he said eventually, “It’s supposed to be sunny today. My dad finally deigns to show up.” 

“It’s been forever since I last saw the sun.” Nico was sick and tired of this sickly, tired gray. He knew what he had to do now. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and said, “Want to go watch the sunrise over the ocean?” 

“Yes,” Will said, once more taking his unmarked hand. “I do.” 

They climbed the crest of a hill on the outskirts of camp. From the top of it they could see the water starting to glow. It reflected on them warmly, green as ever. But it didn’t make Nico’s heart hurt anymore. The ocean was peaceful, happy, proud of him. He smiled as the sun warmed his face. The sky turned red, then golden. Just like Will’s hair. Soon after that it turned blue. Just like Will’s eyes. And suddenly there was a new colorscape for Nico di Angelo. 

*

“I’m nervous,” Will said, straightening the hem of his shirt and brushing down his jeans. 

“She’s already met you. She likes you. It’s going to be fine.” 

“Not like this. What do I even say? How can I convince her that I’m a good guy?” 

Nico took hold of his arms until he stilled. “Like this.” He kissed him, then broke away and grinned. “See how happy you make me? She can’t possibly have a problem with that.” 

“Okay,” Will relented, blushing. “Let’s go, I’m ready.” 

Nico led him to the Hades table where his sister was waiting. “Nico!” She hugged him tight. “I haven’t seen you in forever. How are you?” 

“Okay, actually.” 

She looked surprised. “You weren’t last time I was here.” 

“I know. But… things changed.” That was Will’s cue. He stepped forward. 

“Hi, Hazel.” He smiled. 

She smiled back, polite but clearly not understanding. “Hi there.” 

“Will, this is Hazel Levesque. My sister. Hazel, this is Will Solace.” Nico stood next to Will and took his hand in his. “My boyfriend.” Realization dawned on her face and her eyes went down to his bare hands. His unapologetically gray fingertips. His hand intertwined with that of another boy. Something she’d never thought she’d see again. 

“Oh!” She exclaimed. “Oh! Will,” she turned to him. “It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand and he shook it. They both smiled. Then Hazel turned back to Nico. She clearly didn’t know what to say. Nico couldn’t blame her; last time she’d seen him he’d been weeping about never seeing colors again. Now suddenly that was okay. “Are you happy?” She finally asked, looking at his gray hand holding Will’s. 

Nico nodded. 

She turned to Will. “Will you make sure he stays that way?” 

Will laughed nervously. “I’ll always try.” 

“Then…” She shrugged, laughed, and embraced him. “Welcome to the family.” Over her shoulder Nico and Will beamed at each other, and Nico let out the faintest of sighs, caressed and covered and brimming over with light. The sun was shining. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! 
> 
> Thank you for reading. It feels really good to have finished something. I'm glad I got to make these boys happy after all this time. 
> 
> Love, 
> 
> The Author


End file.
